Are you happy now? Do you have that conversation in your mind like everyone else? The one that goes something like this… “I’ll be happy when…” (then insert your chosen adjectives and noun!) What does true happiness even look like?
Mine used to be: “I’ll be happy when we have more money” or “I’ll be happy when I have more time”
What about you? Will we ever truly be happy or do we constantly desire unhappiness or something missing, in order to have something to want? Are we constantly in pursuit of something and is that where happiness lies?
It is true that these brain conversations are bad for us! All that negative talk is never a good thing even when it’s in our own heads!
Discovering and keeping true happiness is reflected in your actions and there’s two ways that you can start to create the happiness you want right now:
- Happiness is a state of mind and (most of the time) it is a choice
- You can take action to create the happiness you desire
Choose to be Happy
Be grateful for the things you do have, and you’ll create more of them. Take time to look around you and thank your lucky stars for all you have. Choose happiness right now. Make the conscious decision to wake happy, to smile more and to not sweat the small stuff.
Reduce stress in your life by choosing your reactions too. If you stub your toe, you could say what an awful day you’re having. That’s not true now is it? Instead, curse out loud (because let’s face it, that shit hurts!) but then follow it by saying “that is the worst thing that is going to happen to me today.” Inevitably it will be.
Choosing your reactions is an absolute must in creating the happy life you want. Choose happy, be happy.
Create Your Happy
Even when you’re actively choosing your emotions, you can sometimes still desire things that you know will improve your life. Things that will make things easier to handle, less stressful, etc. And that is perfectly normal, acceptable and right. It is not ungrateful to desire more as long as you are still taking time to be grateful for what you do have. Always come from a place of gratitude and not of lack.
Taking action on the unhappiness is as good as creating happy. Identifying what it is that you desire and those things currently blocking that desire from materialising is a great way to start. Some examples to help you out:
If you think you’ll be happy when you have more time, start taking steps to create that time now. Like identifying and outsourcing some of the tasks that are a drain on your time and energy.
If you think you’ll be happy when you have more money, start thinking about the ways you can make that money; the side hustles you could undertake or the promotions you could go for.
Another great tip is to start to set boundaries for yourself to maintain the happiness you’re creating:
- Start saying no to things you don’t want to do, not just the things you don’t have the time or resources for
- Leave situations or environments that are harmful to you; whether that be friendship groups, work environments or family situations
- Allow others to accept their own fate and make their own decisions. You cannot rescue everyone, or control others. Accept that and release them without trying to change, fix or rescue them
- Recognise which problems are yours to solve and which problems belong to others. Own your own, deal with them and move past them. If it isn’t your problem, walk away
- Understand that your desires, goals, passions and interests are as important, if not more so, than anything else in your life. Make time for those things as much as your obligations.
So there’s the tips for today and I hope they help. They’ve certainly helped me to get to where I am today and I know they can help you too. Just remember: